Love

With today being Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d  share what I’ve learned about love, particularly about loving yourself.  Most  women have an easy time loving others. We’re very nurturing, kind, and caring to those around us. However when it comes to ourselves, we’re our own worst enemy. We are constantly beating ourselves up over every little thing. We scold and criticize ourselves endlessly reminding ourselves of every little imperfect thing about us. We deny any of the good in us.

News Flash! It’s our job to love ourselves, and to like and approve of ourselves. I’m not talking about being selfish, or arrogant, or stuck-up. I’m talking about having a great respect for the ourselves and for the person God created.  God made you perfectly to His standards, and because of that you are amazing, and you were born with everything you need to be awesome.

The Savior knew His worth, even when others around Him didn’t see it. This can be true for us. Every one of us is just as valuable as every other person. We all are equal in our value and our worth. Appreciating ourselves doesn’t mean that we think we’re better than any one else. It just means that we’re noticing some of the talents and skills Heavenly Father uniquely created in us -all that we are comes from Him.

Many think that if they love themselves it will take away from loving and serving others. It’s actually the opposite. The more love you have for yourself, the more love you have to give to others. When you think of yourself in a more positive, appreciate way, you will spend less time thinking and worrying about yourself which will give you more time to love and serve others.

One of the reasons we think negatively about ourselves is because we’re trying to protect ourselves from some nonexistent danger. We think if we can hurt ourselves first, then no one else will be able to.  Our spirits crave validation and proof that we are lovable, good, and important. When we seek this validation from others, we are constantly focusing on ourselves, and thinking how others see us. If we can give ourselves that validation, then we can spend the rest of the day focusing on other people and not so worried about ourselves.

If you often think negatively about yourself, there are two things I challenge you to do:

1. Every morning, I want you to look in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes, and say out loud to yourself, “I love you and except you exactly as you are.” Then I want you to thank yourself (again out loud) for all the things you did right yesterday.  -This may be very challenging at first. Stick with it. You may cry, and that’s okay. Keep going. If you can’t think of anything to thank yourself for, think about what you wish others would have thanked you for. “Thanks for getting up in the middle of the night with your daughter when she had a nightmare. Thanks for that awesome post you posted yesterday on Facebook. Thanks for making dinner last night. Thanks for waving to the neighbor .”
2. The other thing I want you to do it to write a list of 100 things you love and appreciate about yourself. Notice I said YOURSELF. (This may be really hard at first, but I know you can do it. If you can’t come up with all 100 at the same sitting, write 1 thing a day or 10 things a day until you come up with 100.) Then read over your list often, adding to it if you’d like. Here are a few things on my list to get you going: I like talking to my husband on the phone. I’m a good listener. I can make a delicious PBandJ. I get myself showered and dressed everyday. I birthed six children. I know how to use Photoshop. I can engage and keep a conversation going.  I like learning new things. I can bake like nobody’s business. I’m quick to forgive others.       Now it’s your turn.

How did it go? Were these things were easy or hard for you? I also want you to know some of the things you appreciate about yourself.

Have a great Valentine’s Day!

I love your guts,

Rachael