Me Party
We all host them from time to time. The type of party we throw just special for ourselves and all our problems. Most of the time we don’t even recognize we’re in the middle of this festivity. We see it as our life (or the people in it) is really hard, difficult, and unfair. We may see ourselves as not enough or not having enough. Sometimes this party shows up as resentment or jealousy or sadness. This is not a fun party to attend. It does nothing to serve us. Today, I’m going to share with you 5 ways to break up a pity party.
5 ways to break-up a pity-party
- Process your emotions. I learned how to do this from master coach, Brooke Castillo. The first thing you want to do is to stop and recognize what are you feeling. Then you want to name it. “Oh this is annoyance. Hello Annoyance.” Once you’ve named it, you describe it. What does annoyance feel like in your body? When I’m annoyed there is a tightness right in the middle of my chest that kind of works it’s way up towards my throat and also into my arms. If I could give it a color, it would be red. It’s warm. Many of us want to push our emotions away (usually by eating, drinking, binge watching, etc), but guess what, when we do this, our feelings don’t actually go away. We end up bottling them up. Over time they build up pressure and explode. If we invite the emotions in, and welcome them, and feel them, they will eventually go away.
2. Don’t complain-Write it down. Once the emotion has subsided, write down what you were thinking and feeling. Pretend you are venting to your best friend. Be honest. Get it all out- every little thing that’s bothering you. Then be done with it. Let this be the only complaining you do. When we complain to others it turns into a wild house party, because now you’ve added guests. These guests bring other guests in the form of their emotions and opinions and your quiet little me party has now gotten out of control.
3. Change your thinking. All of our feelings are created by our thoughts. If we don’t like how we’re feeling all we have to do is change our thoughts. You can read more about that HERE. Instead you could thing:”Of course this is hard. It’s suppose to be. This is what I signed up for. I’m totally capable of this because I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” or “I’m not very good at ______, but that’s OK.” or “I may not be good at this, but I’m very good at other things.” Pick a new thought that you believe and own it! Keep telling it to yourself every time your brain wants to revert back to the old thought.
4. Social Media Fast/Purge. Social media can be a blessing. It has many good and uplifting uses. However, it also has many negative effects. One of those is comparison. We compare our worst to the best we see on everyone’s feed. No wonder we feel like we’re not enough. A social media fast followed by a purge does wonders to break up a pity party. This can be just for a day, a a week, or a month. You’ll know what’s best for you. Once you get back on, go through and unfollow or hide those you follow that don’t make you feel like a million bucks.
5. Serve Others. Albert Einstein once said that a person starts to live when he can live outside himself. I recently read the story of Meg Johnson, a quadriplegic who was paralyzed after she accidentally jumped off a cliff. When she returned home from the hospital she would spend her days sitting outside watching the grass grow, feeling sorry for herself until she an idea. She had her mom push her down to the local elementary school where she would sit and listen to second graders read their library books to her. She would sit there and encourage them. This small service was huge for her and her recovery. I love this quote from President Hinckley. He said, “The most effective medicine for the sickness of self-pity is to lose ourselves in the service of others.”
Rachael
