4 Phases of Change
The 4 Phases of Change
As I’ve been working with clients, I’ve noticed that no matter what different goals each of my clients are working on, they all go through these 4 phases of change.
It’s really helpful to know about these phases and which phase you’re currently in because it will help you get through each of them and get the result you want.
The four phases are:
1. Our Current Normal
2. The Excited Phase
3. The Misery Phase
4. The new normal
Phase number one is OUR CURRENT NORMAL. This is where we are before we set a goal or start working or a habit. We’re just going along living life.
It’s in this phase that we become aware we’d like things to be different and that we want to change something.
Phase two is THE EXCITED PHASE. We’ve just thought of an awesome goal we want to achieve, some kind of result, and we’re excited about it.
So we start! And then before we know it, we’re in phase three – THE MISERY PHASE. This is where things start to get hard or a little uncomfortable. Maybe we get bored or we don’t see results as quickly as we’d like.
The Life Coach school calls this THE RIVER OF MISERY. We go from the pond of misery -phase one, our current normal, where we notice we’re a little bit miserable and we’d like things to change, but it’s also very familiar and comfortable.
Let’s use weight loss as an example:
In phase one we notice we’re in the pond of misery- We don’t feel good physically. We don’t like the way our joints hurt and we’d like to lose some weight.
We decide to set a goal. We’re going to lose 50 pounds.
The thought of being in a thinner body, and feeling better, and not struggling with food, and everything else makes us excited.
So, we start on our weight loss journey and we’re excited and motivated until we hit the river of misery!
Ouch! We have to give up some of our old habits, we have to start exercising which feels terrible, we have to learn to change our taste buds, and feel our feelings instead of eating. All of it is out of our norm and very uncomfortable.
Welcome to the River of Misery.
You’ll notice in this phase your brain freaks out! It’s screaming, “This was a terrible idea! We were fine being a little bit miserable in the pond. We should just go back there. We might die in this river.”
Our brain will really try to sell us on the ideas of quitting and swimming back to phase one.
But if we can realize that we’re just in the river of misery, this is just phase three, nothing has gone wrong, this is exactly the way it’s supposed to go, it will make things much easier for us to “just keep swimming”.
Which is exactly what we need to do when we’re in phase three. In order to get through it to the other side, we have to keep swimming. This is the key to our success.
If we’re willing to stay in the misery phase for as long as it takes, if we’re willing to stay in it and deal with it and not quit and go back to the pond of misery, eventually we’ll figure it out and our brain will figure it out and we’ll be on the other side.
We’ll be in phase four- OUR NEW NORMAL
Not don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying the grass is greener in this phase, and you’ll be forever happier once you get here.
Life is 50/50 and once we reach our goal, once we find our new normal and things start to settle down, we’ll find something else to be miserable about or something else we want to change and we’ll do it all over again.
This is life!
This is growth!
This is why setting and working on goals is so important. Having to swim through the river of misery, makes us stronger. It builds our muscles, especially our mindset muscle and it helps us learn to manage our brain and deal better with all the negative emotions that come with life. We evolve and show up better as a person.
What phase are you in right now?
Would you like some help navigating through any Rivers of Misery? I can help you. Sign up HERE for a free 40 minute coaching session.
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