Piper, Pipe Down!
As a human being, you have this voice inside you that likes to talk to you -all- the -time. This voice tells you things like:
You’re not good enough.
Other People can do that better than you.
Why are you so stupid?
You don’t know what you’re talking about.
What’s wrong with you?
You’re too old, fat, ugly, etc
This voice goes by: Ego, the Natural Man, Inner Mean Girl, Inner Critic, or Inner Naysayer. And nothing she says is true.
Inside you is also your spirit. This is the part of you that is total love. This part of you existed before you were born and will exist after you die. It currently lives in your body. This part of you is much more timid and shy. Your spirit is also exhausted from your ego beating her up all the time. Many times she goes into hiding to avoid the negative lectures Ego gives her when she allows herself to be who she is. She’s good at a lot of things, and not good at many others. She’s unique, and unlike any other spirit that exists.
In order to give your spirit a safe space to come out and be heard, or in other words, for you to be genuinely who you are, you’re going to have to supervise Ego.
Here’s How:Step 1: Acknowledge you have this voice, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone, except for Sociopaths, question their worth. *Yay for not being a Sociopath! *
Step 2: Give your voice a name. When you name your Ego, it helps you to separate yourself from that part of you. It makes you an observer. It helps you to not react to or be driven by that voice.
I call my ego, Piper. Piper is beautiful. She’s also really mean and cruel. She likes to say a lot of terrible and mean things to me. Things I would never say to another person. She’s very loud and dominant. She believes she’s protecting me. When she thinks I’m in danger, she yells at me so I’ll pay attention to her. However, she’s very misguided, and extremely over dramatic. Most of her fears are irrational and not necessary.
Step 3: Supervise Her. Hating her will just add more dislike for yourself. Instead, acknowledge that she’s there, and that’s she’s trying to protect you. Be her friend, but don’t leave her unsupervised. Supervise her by saying things to her like: “It’s okay Piper, just settle down. Everything’s fine.” Or “Thank you, Piper, for trying to protect me, but there’s no real danger here.” Or if she’s being really persistent, you can firmly say “Piper, pipe down! I’ve got this.”
Step 4: Observe Yourself. Notice things about yourself with curiosity not with criticism. When you notice something you are good at, take note, and allow yourself to feel good about it. When you aren’t good at something, just notice “Hey, I’m not so good at this.” Don’t let your Ego come along and berate you and make you feel like you’re less than. Remember, we all have strengths and weaknesses. Ego wants you believe that these things mean you’re better or worse than everyone else. Don’t do it.
Step 5: Make a list of 100 things you appreciate about yourself. This isn’t about pride. You didn’t create yourself, God did. This is just about you noticing what Heavenly Father created – which is amazing.
Step 6: Retrain your Brain. Your brain wants to be efficient. It likes to automatically keep thinking the same thoughts it’s always thought. Ones that it is really good at thinking. When your confidence is low, it’s because you believing and thinking the thoughts Ego has to offer you. It’s time to retrain your Brain.
First, take a look at the thoughts that stood out to you when I first introduced you to your Ego. (Why an I so Stupid? I’m too fat!, People don’t like me. You’re not very pretty.) There might be a lot of them, and that’s ok. Pick one of these thoughts. Something you think on a regular basis or one that is causing you a great deal of suffering, shame, or pain.
Second, find an alternative thought that you’re going to think every time your brain wants you to think the painful thought. It needs to ring true for you. Such as:
Write this new thought down (or print the thoughts above). You can make it pretty or you can write it down on a piece of scrap paper. Put this new thought in your pocket, on your bathroom mirror, on your computer screen, on your planner-somewhere you will see it often so you can practice thinking it and believing it.
Third, practice, practice, practice. Keep in mind that practice means sometimes you’re going to get it right, and sometimes you’re not. Sometimes you’ll forget and go right over to the old thought because you’re really good at thinking that old thought. That’s okay. Stick with it.
If you can hold on to that new thought for 30 days – look at it, think about it, and do your best to redirect your brain to it, you will retrain your brain. This seems really easy, but like all things that are easy, we tend to stop doing them. Often giving up if we don’t see results after one day or even one week. Stick with it! I promise it’s working.
Love you Piper-
Rachael
