People Pleasers –
A People Pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know. They never say “no.” You can always count on them for a favor. They spend a great deal of time doing things for others. They get their work done, help others with their work, and they are always there for family members and friends.
People Pleasers need validation from others in order to feel valuable. They believe other people’s opinion is more important than their own, especially when it comes to themselves. They conform themselves to the standards of others just so they’ll fit in. People pleasers put all their self-worth in people liking them, and when they don’t they hate themselves and feel bad. They are lairs because they are not being authentic to themselves. They feel they are responsible for the emotions and happiness of everyone else (which is impossible. The only person who has control of how you feel is yourself). You begin to lose yourself because you are trying to be the person you think so-and-so wants you to be. This person is not you.
A perfect example of this is the old 90’s movie The Runaway Bride. The bride put so much pressure on herself to be perfect for her fiances, she lost herself in the process. If you remember, she didn’t even know how she liked her eggs.
You must remember that you cannot earn your value. If you think constantly pleasing others, and changing yourself to please others will make you more valuable and people will like you better – please don’t! This belief is a lie! It is based in fear. The more true to your unique self you are, the more true connections you will find. This is the truth.
The cure to people pleasing is love – self love and loving others. Loving who you are enough that what other’s think of you isn’t a big deal. It means nothing about you and is none of your business.
Validation is a feeling, and our feelings come from our thoughts, not what others think about us. The good news is you can choose to feel validation anytime you want. Just change your thoughts!
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
We also need to love others so much that you want to give them your absolute best – YOU -your genuine, authentic, awesome self.
Be true to you, and remember “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
